Dec 5th - Politcal Commentary - Reasons to Vote Democratic

I received an email containing the "12 Reasons to Vote Democratic" below. To be fair if someone sends me an email with similar "reasons to vote Republican" I will add it. Of course there are no reasons for anyone to vote anything other than Civil Libertarian.
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When your "friends" cannot explain why they are going to vote for a Democrat, give them this list. They can then pick their reasons from this "TOP 12"...

I’m voting Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of fuel are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of fuel at 67/77 (gas/diesel) cents/gal, plus 18 cents/gal sales tax, is okay. 

I’m voting Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

I’m voting Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as only conservative Christians are offended.

I’m voting Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

I’m voting Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a $40,000+ Chevy Volt that other taxpayers are forced to subsidize.

I’m voting Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

I’m voting Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits.

I’m voting Democrat because I believe that business should not be allowed to make profits for investors. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

I’m voting Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

I’m voting Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but not drill for our own (ANWAR) because it might upset a caribou. Besides I would much rather our dollars go to some Muslim enemies than to friendly Canadians who want to sell us more oil if we will only let them build a pipeline.

I’m voting Democrat because while we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world, I want more "HOPE AND CHANGE". (more $1.3 trillion deficits, more years of plus 8% unemployment, more bombing of Muslim nations, Libya, that hated us before the bombing and who will hate us after we have spent over a billion dollars bombing them, etc). I endorse changing one of our motto's from the “Land of Equal Opportunity” to the “Land of Equal Outcome.”

I‘m voting Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

"Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery."

-- Winston Churchill